Duchess & Princess

Got to love a place that gives you a title within 48 hours of arriving at its shores – a bit like Grace when she arrived in Monaco (junior cadets, read a little on royalty if you’re not sure about this, or ask your gran if you’re busy with make-up), perhaps its tradition in these waters.
I’m sure it’s the same the world over - one walks into a bar meets a 70 year old English fag and is presented with the title of Duchess, he may be slightly deaf and legally blind but I’m convinced he has a sixth sense for these things.
Basically we walk into the local bar – that’s Sabrina and I, someone calls out ‘hey bitches’ and thus Sam (the blind/deaf fag) starts calling me Duchess. On hearing this new title Sab proceeds to fain indignation and claims to have been in said company (Sams) for several truck loads of champagne and never had such recognition – well Sam couldn’t quite make out the fuss, but thinks it has something to do with Sab buying him the company of a trucker and thus calls her Princess…..it’s as simple as that, there’s absolutely no need to try and find a band of marauding warriors to conquer the local principality, too time consuming and predictable and so one Duchess and Princess are currently attending all the local soirees and making decrees at a whim – eg. No going out in public without a minimum of 3 items of make-up (mascara doesn’t count, this is a medical item, which should be tax deductible); never have one glass of champagne when you can have two; never leave your two boyfriends together in the same bedroom – this is a serious one I’ve experienced this twice in my time now and although they’re all very happy with each other I’m still trying to get my glomesh items back.