Simon Tahiti

Travelling in style, business class from Melbourne to Nice , flight relatively empty so played mind game of ‘Simon Tahiti’ while summoning the limp wristed flight attendant (so cliché, so de riguer), trying not to drink too many champagnes on the flight as I am wearing a pair of heels and it is never a good look to stumble out of the plane declaring ‘we landed didn’t we’ – this game doesn’t work so well any more as they lock the pilots cabin at take-off and you can’t borrow his hat for the landing performance, most folk would think that the cabin lock is to do with the world wide paranoia about terrorism, from a girl who’s seen the inside of a few cockpits, let me tell you it’s all about the missing hat and occasional pilots jacket (this really, really works as you can get through customs and baggage at amazing pace with the extra smokes and booze and then if your entourage is waiting, well it’s simply the talk of arrivals for the day).

It’s always fabulous to get through customs and see a familiar face and Sabrina’s was the one I was glad to see striding toward me, arms outstretched (a couple of slow movers received a smack to the back of their heads – they’ll learn), hugs, kisses, more hugs, the joy of seeing a familiar face after too many months apart.
I was picked out by Sab’s designated driver ‘Preston’ who quipped “there’s a posh bitch coming out now”, at this point Sab had no doubts who this would be and thus the fervent pitch to get to me before someone else made claim or I chose a different ride home, both of which have happened in previous landings and usually when one is forced to fly economy – lack of sleep and the frustration of trying to open the salt & pepper packs leaving you looking like a bad dandruff case impairs judgement and I’m yet to have a good experience with this little travel event, not even the gorgeous thirty year old with a Porsche was a good idea, if living with your mommy is the only way you’re going to afford a luxury car “Don’t Do It” and then it was a real bugger trying to get my then boyfriend to see the funny side of this caper. So you see Sabrina’s need to make claim was most appropriate as it has been harder to get me back than your lost luggage from ‘Toss a Coin Airlines”, without a docket or a masters in hieroglyphics.